2nd Year
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was so-called “best friend”. I stared at her beautiful eyes, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said “thanks” give me a charming smile. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I didn’t know why...
3rd Year
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2-hours, one Korean movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “Thanks,” and gave me a sweet smile. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I didn’t know why.
Senior Year
The day before the festival, she walked to me. “My date is sick,” she said. “He’s not going to go”. Well, I didn’t have a date, and we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did.
Festival night – after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal brown eyes. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t think of me like that, and I knew it. Then she said, “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a sweet smile. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her, but I was just too shy, and I didn’t know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up to the stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks,” and gave me a sweet smile as usual. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her, but I was just too shy, and I didn’t know why.
A few years later
I sat in the mosque. That girl was getting married. I watched her smile with tears and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “You came!” She said “Thanks,” and gave me a sweet smile. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her, but I was just too shy, and I didn’t know why.
Funeral
Years passed. I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. Her mother gave me a diary entry she had written in her university.
This is what she wrote:
“I stare at him, wishing he was mine. But he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don’t want to be “just friends”. I love him, but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish I did too! I thought to myself and I cried...
I love you, I love you, I love you......”
